By Gregory Farrell, esq.
Hey ya'll, happy thanksgiving. Here is a rundown of what my family did on that 'o' holiest of sacred of days, the days of giving of thanks (Thanksgiving). Here is some musical accompaniment, should you so desire:
So, Full disclosure, I hate to disappoint you guys but we didn't have a turkey or Tofurkey. We decided to take it easy, so we went to the bodega and bought six of these mini pizzas. Five slices each!
PSYCHE (mad gelatin). Weird though, right?
ANYWAY, my family is about half vegan. I myself am not entirely vegan but my brother and his wife both are. However, I was able to keep vegan this thanksgiving because the only non-vegan items served were the turkey itself (for my dad, he's old school) and the stuffing from inside that turkey. Also, the cranberry sauce from a can may not have been vegan, but whatevs, that is a tradition dating wayyy back. I'm not entirely sure anyone ate it. I didn't.
Anyway, on holidays, my Dad usually a makes a breakfast of french toast and sausage (Gimme Lean sausage for the VEG). Often there are clementines, as pictured. I'm not vegan but I don't eat eggs, and he was dismayed to find out that he had to make two separate batches of french toast, one vegan, one non. He does this every year and usually the vegan batch comes out being better (heheh). He didn't have the recipe on hand so he made it up.
Day old bakery white bread. Cut it thick at home.
Three heaping TBSP of flour
Enough almond milk to submerge the bread
Sugar if you want
Whatevs. Add whatever you want, as long as it will soak into the bread.
Mix it all in a bowl, submerge the bread, let it soak then fry it up, well done (cast iron skillets work best, my inheritance). Butter while hot. Serve with REAL maple syrup, which also tastes good with the Gimme Lean. YUM.
Major disadvantage, obviously is in using flour as an egg substitute. All you get is the bulk, not the protein. It's weird to add flour to bread. So basically I was full after a few of these.
Then I watched some of the Woody Allen documentary on PBS and read some of this book by Robert Rodriguez. Both are very good.
This is a picture of my dog. Her name is skipper. She was there too.
At around Two P.M. my brother and his wife arrived and we started preparing dinner.
Earlier, I had told my dad that he would have to document the meal in photographs for this blog post. He agreed, and then complained while we were peeling potatoes that it was "boring" and we all told him that nobody cares about the potatoes, they want to see the finished dishes. However, if you do care, here are some shots of potatoes:
Things went fast from here. And we soon wound up with dinner.
Maritza brought a quinoa kale salad (kale, lemony dressing and cherry tomatoes). For some reason everyone in my family is quinoa-phobic so they made yuck faces while they ate it. Babies. It was very good though.
Pictured beside it is a green bean casserole made by my little brother Ben. It may be one the first things he's ever made. It was gross. Very 50's with french onions and soy yogurt. Not recommended, but here is the link with a photo.
Here is a photo of our whole spread:
Clockwise: Bottom left corner in the green bowl is the famous "Artichoke to Death" this time with way more sauce, heavy mustard, made by Maud. All the way on the left on the edge of the picture is mashed potatoes. My family does it very "no frills". Potatoes, mashed with some margarine and soy milk. BAM. That's it. Sixpoint Bengali Tiger Beer in the corner, stuffing with leftover gimme lean from breakfast, green bean casserole, real live (dead) turkey, more stuffing (non-vegan), yams ("no frills"), applesauce, and cranberry sauce. I just realized that there is a plate of Tofurkey out of the frame on the left. Basic Tofurkey, no big. What do you guys think of that stuff?
So we all barfed because we ate too much, then waited awhile and had dessert:
Clockwise: Pumpkin pie from the store, Pumpkin brownies from The French Fry Conundrum. I personally made them, and I personally apologize. They came out horrible, nobody even looked at them, let alone ate them. For some reason they just wouldn't bake properly. I just left them at my parent's house. They were probably thrown away.
Raspberry Chocolate ganache by Maritza from (book) it was awesome. Major home run. Cranberry pecan oatmeal cookies, made by me. Also home run. Here is a picture Maud took of me making them:
They were awesome, as they have been in the past, but nobody bothered to touch them either. Thanks family, last time I bother! Then you got some chocolates, an an apple pie from a store, finishing out the dessert photo.
And finally, here is some applesauce:
I'd like to thank my pops Ken for taking all the pictures. Food photography is not his forte. He is a very talented portrait photographer. I would link you to his blog but he doesn't have one. He feels like he is too old, perhaps, and says he is "too busy."
BLOGGERS OF THE WORLD, UNITE AND DISPEL THIS MYTH. URGE MY FATHER TO POST HIS PHOTOS TO A BLOGGER ACCOUNT FOR ALL TO ENJOY. ONE A DAY! ONE A DAY!
ANYWAY. I have to go now because I am tired. I didn't sleep much last night because Maud and I have rats running rampant and gnawing on our ceiling. Thanks for letting me post here, Maud, and to the blogosphere for reading.