Briefly, I lost my shit. Bipolar disorder is a force to be reckoned with. Let's just get that out there.
I did stop eating for a while, I've only just gotten back into preparing food for myself, and it's only today that I haven't had a couple drinks just to get myself out the door. In a fit of mania, I bought myself a ticket to Raleigh, North Carolina, a state in which I know precisely three people. (I later had a panic attack, cancelled the trip, and then re-scheduled it about 8 hours later.)
I didn't take any food photos down there (beer photos I do have) but it involved a "Tempeh Tantrum," - marinated tempeh, vegan pesto, vegan bacon, avocado, and lettuce on sourdough at The Remedy Diner with my friend Tedd, before we began a night of incredible drinking. Another night, there was also a cookout at Tedd's friends' place in Durham. I didn't eat anything (though they were so incredibly generous to the awkward unknown girl in the corner) as most of it was not vegan and I was more interested in the whiskey and dogs (!) but there was a corn/tomato salad that someone had made entirely from local farmers market produce. It is big down there, I hear.
I brought along some energy bars that I ate for breakfasts most days.
I also brought this bag of crudites (cauliflower, broccoli, bell pepper, carrots) to eat on the train ride down:
My cousin lives in Chapel Hill, so I spent a day and a half with her. She took me to Top of the Hill, where they brew their own beer! It's a burger/beer place (with a beautiful view!) so it was pretty basic but there was an edamame burger (really good!) with sweet potato fries and two Ram's Heads beers, thank you very much. After that, she dropped me off at Cat's Cradle for one of my main reasons for going down there - to see Sebadoh!! Oh, man. Guys. I can't stop listening to Sebadoh. It was a fantastic show, and I'm gonna see them here in NY again next week. This is only ONE of their INCREDIBLE songs, but seeing as there's a cat in the video, y'all vegans might dig it. (Shen, this is nothing like United States of Whatever. Sorry.)
Anyway, so yadda yadda, vacation pics, whatever. I am back in New York and I know a lot of you lust after the vegan food opportunities here and being born and bred here, I never thought I could leave the city. But the South is beautiful, there is nature and space and cheap housing and kind people and none of the weird personal hang-ups that are here and quiet and local food movements and even food trucks and fragrant breezes and goats and backyards. So. We'll see what happens on that front. Advice/recommendations on moving to the Unknown are welcome.
ENOUGH RAMBLES. I am eating again and for anybody else who suffers from mental disorders (especially depression) I can't stress how important it is to give fresh, raw vegetables to yr body. It is totally hard to force yrself to put effort into anything, but please, please do it.
Here is my "Keep on Livin'" grocery run from today: an orange (grocery store), nectarine, corn, two little eggplants, and two zucchinis from the farmer's market.
Also some treats. Of course. Vanilla So Delicious ice cream, a big bottle of Chardonnay, Emmy's raw macaroons (Coconut-Vanilla flavor), and Go Raw pumpkin seed cookies. I like this photo because you can see my angel statue in the background. She makes me not cry all the time.
Tonight's raw dinner:
Raw kale, raw kraut, raw corn, tomatoes. Probably inspired by this meal from Paradis the other day:
Raw corn, tomato and onion salad alongside sweet potatoes and chopped kale.
Previous night's dinner:
Raw kale, raw kraut, tomatoes, tempeh. In a sriracha-tahini dressing.
Previously, randomly, seaweed salad into which I mixed sesame seeds and red pepper flakes. Never thought I liked seaweed salad, but I guess I do. This was followed by miso soup.
That's all for now. Hopefully more will come. I am moving in mid-September with an old friend so hopefully we will cook and have fun together.
Wow! Lots of personal shit, and I don't even know you all but I think it's important to be honest. I hope all you guys are well! Especially the pregnant ones of you! I missed you guys. Thanks for being there (wherever you are.)